Thursday, April 23, 2009

Am I Heartless?

We received the news today that my great-aunt (finally) died on her 92nd birthday. I say "finally" because none of us ever thought she would live this long. She married only once years, and years ago but it didn't last long. She never had children. She lived a sad and lonely life. She was a smart lady that made a career at Kodak in Rochester, NY as a drafter? Come to think of it I don't even know what she did. The only thing I ever remember sharing in common with her was our love for architecture! She always struck me more "annoying" than "pleasurable" to be around. My grandmother, her sister and closest living relative, has cared for many things for her for years. She always seemed like she was a bother to my grandmother. My sister gave me the news of her passing via email today and for some weird reason...I have no response. I mean absolutely no emotion at all. I don't even feel bad for my grandmother. Is that bad? I don't think I am heartless but deep down maybe I think it is beneficial for my grandmother that she is gone. On the other hand I am not confident that she was a child of God. THAT is always heart renching no matter who it is.

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